How To Get Even

Regular readers know that I had a run-in with a mental case last Monday. They also know that I was intrigued by Cheezhead's love of Google AdWords.

Put a blog, a jerk and AdWords together and you come up with a powerful means of seeking revenge justice against anyone who harms you. Here's the formula.

1. Get a free blog from Blogger.

2. Write a posting describing the offender's odious behaviour. Name names, that's the key.

3. Give the posting a lurid title which identifies the target by name. For instance,
"George Schmoe is a Maniac". Or, "I Hate George Schmoe". or "My Fight With George Schmoe"

4. Then buy some very popular keywords from Google and link them to your site. You can, for instance, buy the most popular keywords in the offender's line of business. Or in his ethnic or cultural or geographic community.

5. Make the offender's name into a domain name. For instance, www.GeorgeSchmoe.com. Buy it and point it to your site ($10.00).

Now, anyone who does a Google search in Schmoe's line of business will find a link to your "George Schmoe is Evil" posting at the top of the page. Word will soon get out and won't Schmoe be a laughingstock then. If you're lucky he might even lose business.

Chris Taylor (The Heroic Techie) and Super-recruiter, Anthony J Meaney both suggest that if you are going to meet Schmoe again, plan to videotape his abuse and post it on YouTube which you can link back to your own blog.

You can bring a friend along to handle the video or buy yourself a spycam.

Comments

[Chief Executive Restaurant Recruiter]

Remind me not to get into a fight with Mike... goodness.

[Ragan Jones]

Animal, this is hysterical. I love it!

[Anthony Meaney]

You forgot to mention: Hire a lawyer and prepare for the eventual slander/defamation suit.

Although video evidence would probably stop that one cold.

[Recruiting Animal]

Anthony J, You've got a point. There has to solid proof that what you are saying is true.

In my case, the altercation took place in front of a number of witnesses. Let this bozo charge me, I'd say. His family might lie on the stand but facing perjury charges is a pretty scary thing.

Also, remember that Oscar Wilde went to prison because he charged others with slander. Doing so is a risky business because it adds fuel to the fire publicizing the charges against you. Especially when you know that they are true.

Let's say you get your car rustproofed and the rustproofing doesn't work. You have the bill which you can scan into your blog. You can also have a call record and perhaps paper trail of the many times you tried to get the problem solved.

There are issues to consider but I think it's a potentially powerful weapon.

[Anthony Meaney]

I think you are right about the bit about using it if you a customer service issue.

Remember when your friend had that problem with Hyundai? Imagine the blog he could have made about that.

But going after corporations for poor service or shoddy workmanship is different than creating a website that publicly attacks a person (even if they are a jerk)

Soon we will have to treat every conversation or interaction with people with the assumption that it might end up on youtube eventually.

[Recruiting Animal]

Anthony J, that's absolutely true. The future is a fish bowl. Remember when Dr Laura's old nude photos showed up on the net?
So, all the crazy nuts like George in my story had better watch out or pay the price. You have to make sure that the person you are going up against is not a Tony Soprano but remember even in his case his kids were looking at websites that had him listed as a member of the mob.