Shally Unchained

Last week, Shally Elvis Steckerl celebrated a birthday.
"My God", he said to no one. "I'm 35".
"Yeah," She said, "You're 35".
"Huh! Who said that?"
"Me.Your guardian angel. You know, that chick from Touched From Above?"
"The one with the Irish accent?"
Silence.
"Not that cranky old bag!"
"I'm the star of the show!"
"Yeah, right". What do you want?"
"It's time to leave Microsoft," said a whisper in Shally's ear.
"Leave Microsoft? The greatest software company in the world?"
"Gretchen did it."
"But I'm Shally!"
"That's my point. You can follow your bliss!"
"Huh?"
"Didn't you see that show with Joseph Campbell? Do your own thing. Let it all hang out!... There's a lot of change going on in your industry, isn't there Shally?"
"Yeah"
"That means people don't know what to do, right? And who better to tell them -- than Elvis? You've got to go out on your own. Leave Microsoft... How long have you been working on JobMachine?"
"Ten years."
"It's time."
"Time for what?"
"To go big."
"I am big."
"Not big enough. Only you can revolutionize sourcing. Only you."
Shally thought for a moment: "You're right. The people need me. They don't call me Elvis for nothing..... I said 'They don't call me Elvis for nothing!'... Where are you?
Shally waited but there was no reply. Alone, he shook his fists in the air and shouted, "Yes, I'm Shally Elvis Steckerl and I must take my message to the world!"
Immediately, words appeared on his desktop screen.

Shally, go to the people. Tell them, "I bring you Cheat Sheets, webinars, one-on-one coaching, self-paced online courses and on-site trainings.
And Corporate Consulting: I will do a Full Audit of your sourcing department followed by recommendations for sourcer motivation and process improvement.
And Organizational Development: I will restructure your research department for fast, effective relief from informational heartburn, indigestion and trapped air.
And Metrics: I will teach you to measure productivity and compliance to the OFCCP.

To reach me, call (678) 388-9208 or email shally@jobmachine.net. Join my mailing list here."

Shally gazed at the screen and shouted: "Elvis lives! On to Self-Employment -- and Glory!"

Comments

[jason]

Another Classic.

[Anthony Meaney]

Agreed. Mike that was hilarious. Probably one of the best posts you have ever done.

Seriously.