Interviews, Image and Reality

PLAY - Image v Reality 11 06 15

A few weeks ago I announced on Twitter that I love Gwyneth Paltrow. Naturally, someone challenged me and this time it was - no surprise - @ResumeStrategy. She said something like: "That's an odd thing to say. Not many men I know  would say that they love some celebrity."

Of course she meant not many real men -- but that's only because most guys are too smart to admit it. Is some guy going to go a movie and on the way home turn to his wife and say, "You know, honey, I really love Gwyneth Paltrow."? Not if he's smart

But social media is authentic and if millions of dollars were spent on Shakespeare In Love to make Gwyneth Paltrow seem totally loveable I'm not ashamed to say that it worked on me. In fact, listen to this: after I saw There's Something About Mary I was in love with Cameron Diaz and that was a low budget film.

And a few years ago I had a crush on Amy Winehouse. I liked her music and she looked good in her videos. But I guess that was shallow because my good friend, Maureen Sharib, the Tiger Mom of Telephone Sourcing took it upon herself to explain to me the meaning of the word skank.

Of course she's someone who always complains about women stabbing eachother in the back but I guess they don't like it when shallow guys like me get taken in by the media. But I'm not the only one. I read an article a few years ago by a guy who went to a wedding and who was there but Gwyneth Paltrow

So he wrote an article about it. He said she looked lovely and she sang a song and then she danced with him  And at the end of the article he said, "Imagine that, I danced with Gwyneth Paltrow!".

Now, I have to admit something. I saw Gwyneth Paltrow on TV recently and she wasn't like she was in Shakespeare In Love. In fact, I've seen her in a couple of other movies and she was never the same as she was in Shakespeare in Love.

That's true with Cameron Diaz, as well. I've seen her in other movies but it was never the same as There's Something About Mary. And, of course, poor Amy Winehouse is a drug addict and when you see a picture of her, now, it's hard to feel anything but sorry.

So, now I know you're thinking, "He's going to try to swing this around to recruiting. He's going to say, 'Don't be taken in by shallow images that were crafted to impress you'." But that's not what I'm going to say. I'm going to say the exact opposite.

I'm going to say that you can get your resume written by a pro and you can have a career counselor train   you to interview and you're still never going to make the kind of impression you want because you're not in a movie in which every word is written out in advance and if a scene doesn't go well they simply reshoot  -- 50 times if they have to.

Have you ever seen those politicians who all of a sudden in the middle of a speech start gesturing mechanically? That's what you get from coaching. You say to yourself, "I have to move my arms now to let everyone know I'm still alive." But if you have to tell yourself when to move you're just going to look like a robot and convince everyone that you don't have any life in you at all.

I'll bet Tony Blair doesn't have to do that because he's a naturally good speaker. Barack Obama is a good speaker too and, apparently, President Kennedy was very good in interviews. He knew how to lay on the charm and you didn't have to teach him how to do it.

So my advice on interviews is: don't worry about being a charmer. Focus on your professional knowledge. And if you suffer from stage fright, well, I've read about musicians who use beta blockers to deal with that but I'm not a doctor so don't go out and take them on my say-so.

Update for my critics:  I'm not saying that it's worthless to go to a resume writer or an interview coach. I just said that your goals have to be limited. When the interviewer says, "Tell me about yourself," she doesn't want you to hear your personal history starting at kindergarten and a coach can warn you against doing that. But if you're a drip before an interview you're not likely to change much overnight.

And, yes, you can grow as you get used to presenting yourself. But how many people grow very much? Even people with potential, get a job and put their presentation skills firmly on the shelf.

 

Comments

[Marsha Keeffer]

Yessssss...it's all about the knowledge to solve problems....charm is just the cherry on the sundae. Great post!

[Karen Siwak]

Have you ever seen a junior politician who totally sucks at public-speaking, and months later they are polished and know how to handle the pressure of the press? That is what good coaching does.

Good coaching isn't about reciting lines, it's about helping candidates understand what is being asked when they hear an interview question. It's about helping them figure out which stories might work for which kinds of questions. It's about recognizing that feeling of stage fright, and finding some coping strategies to get it under control. It's about learning to play to your strengths - not the coach's strengths.

Yet again, @animal, you betray a remarkable lack of understanding what career coaches actually do.

[Recruiting Animal]

Oh, ResumeStrategy! I didn't say that it's worthless to go to a resume writer or an interview coach. I said that your goals have to be limited.

When the interviewer says, "Tell me about yourself," she doesn't want you to hear your personal history starting at kindergarten and a coach can warn you against doing that.

Indeed, RS, I'm coaching people by telling them where to focus their energies, aren't I?

But if you're a drip before an interview you're not going to change overnight.

Some politicians grow as public speakers but how many are robots? And those are people who have sought the public sphere.

[Red Ned]

I had always wanted to learn about this topic ... I think it's great the way you expose .. great work and continuing on with this great blog

PS: I am a funky little spammer