His most endearing quality was his generosity. For the length of one night Smiley would do anything at all for you.
Find you a cab, walk miles through the early morning streets looking for food, hold your hair as you threw up, and listen to you complain at great length about your parents and friends — agreeing with all your grievances — though every soul involved in these disputes was completely unknown to him.
Contrary to your initial suspicions Smiley did not want to sleep with you, rob you, or con you in any way. It was simply intensely important to him that you had a good time, tonight, with him. “How you feeling?” was Smiley’s perennial question. “You feeling it yet? I’m feeling it. You feeling it yet?” And that you should feel it seemed almost more important to him than that he should.
Gnosticism is a loose term. Only a few of the groups and tendencies now considered Gnostic were known as such in their own time.
But this does not preclude the use of this convenient term for the religious movement that proclaimed a mystical esotericism for the elect based on illumination and the acquisition of a higher knowledge of things heavenly and divine.
It is to this knowledge that the very term 'Gnosis,' meaning 'knowledge,' that is to say, knowledge of an esoteric and at the same time soteric (redeeming) character, alludes.
He says that if your spouse cheated on you and you want to leave her, you're better off if you're not angry. And to get rid of your anger you have to recognize that she is a (fallible) human being.
Here's what I think he's saying.
If you recognize that people are imperfect you won't expect very much of them and that gives you less reason to be angry at them when they screw up.
In fact, you might be sympathetic with their situation just like you'd sympathize with a little kid who can't do up his buttons.
Andrew says the pain of betrayal can only be satisfied by this kind of basic love. Any other approach will leave you feeling the sting and licking your wounds for a very long time.
Today, I read this on The Daily Beast. It's about Scott Broadwell, the husband of Paula Broadwell who famously had an affair with Dave Petraeus.
"He may have been able to restrain himself from answering betrayal with
blind fury because he appears to consider himself not a king but a
partner with his own human failings."
Note: I just checked with Andrew Thorn. He didn't tell me I was wrong about what he said. He just said this doesn't sound like him. So I assume I got it wrong. I will track down the exact quotation and post it soon.
The best advice I've learned from my dad isn't the advice he's given me, but the best way to give advice to your kids.
My dad will tell you what he thinks, why he believes it, and why he thinks it's right for you. After you've listened, you make up your own mind. Whatever you decide, it doesn't matter, he is behind you 100%.
Some things you just have to learn on your own, and my dad never held any decision I ever made against me. He would root me on no matter the path I took, and help me out no matter where that path landed me.