Candidate: Oh, sorry I'm late.
AJM: (Looking stern) I'm very fussy about punctuality
Cand: (adjusting her hair in a mirror on the wall) Count one strike against me. Hey, I see that everyone else is wearing a suit and I'm dressed in business casual. Is that a problem?
AJM: I hate business casual.
Candidate: Do you have an ashtray where I can put my gum?
AJM: Put it here. Why don't you tell me about yourself?
Cand: What do you want to know?
AJM: What do you know about our business?
Cand: Not much. And I never will unless I work here.
AJM: Why do you want to work here?
Cand: Why does anyone want to work. Money.
AJM: That's an odd answer
Cand: Why because it's true?
AJM: What are your weaknesses?
Cand: That question's just begging for a lie, isn't it? I'm too honest. That's the truth. Smile much?
Cand: Good for you. I was just reading an article about interviewing by Laura Morsch. and she told readers to smile all the time so people will want to work with them. That's a disgusting idea.
AJM: Well, I'm the boss. They don't have to want to work with me. I have to want to work with them.
Cand: You want me to smile?
AJM: It's too late for that now, isn't it?
Cand: Better late than never.
AJM: You're a smart ass aren't you?
Cand: Are you allowed to say "ass". Isn't that sexual harrassment? I see that you're tapping your pen. Wishing the interview was over?
Cand: Well, you'd better not cut it short. I'll accuse you of bias.
AJM: Against what? Your lousy posture?
Cand: Don't worry, I'll think of something.
Hat tip: Anthony J Meaney