Recruiting Animal

How To Control Anger

My guest on December 12, 2012 was Andrew Thorn. He wrote a book called U-wun-ge-lay-ma.

He says that if your spouse cheated on you and you want to leave her, you're better off if you're not angry. And to get rid of your anger you have to recognize that she is a (fallible) human being.

Here's what I think he's saying.

If you recognize that people are imperfect you won't expect very much of them and that gives you less reason to be angry at them when they screw up.

In fact, you might be sympathetic with their situation just like you'd sympathize with a little kid who can't do up his buttons.

Andrew says the pain of betrayal can only be satisfied by this kind of basic love. Any other approach will leave you feeling the sting and licking your wounds for a very long time. 

Today, I read this on The Daily Beast. It's about Scott Broadwell, the husband of Paula Broadwell who famously had an affair with Dave Petraeus.

"He may have been able to restrain himself from answering betrayal with blind fury because he appears to consider himself not a king but a partner with his own human failings."

Note: I just checked with Andrew Thorn. He didn't tell me I was wrong about what he said. He just said this doesn't sound like him. So I assume I got it wrong. I will track down the exact quotation and post it soon.

Let Alpha Leaders Cheat

From: The Daily Beast (edited)

David Petraeus had an affair. But can’t we forgive him a little?

Petraeus is a genuine hero. The people willing to do these jobs tend to be hard-core alpha males with all of the testosterone poisoning and adrenaline addiction that comes with that.

Neil Young's Management Style

From: The American Conservative

Young is a sort of passive-aggressive Little Napoleon who either dominates everyone around him, or leaves.

Crosby, Stills and Nash were the most popular band in America before Young joined, but Young immediately called the tunes -- even though he was manifestly putting most of his effort into his solo career. "

As soon as they started to rehearse," recounts Young's business manager, "It was clear Neil was gonna be in charge. Everyone was afraid of Neil. Because Neil walked."

Young prefers working with mediocre musicians like Crazy Horse who can't afford to walk out on him.

One of Young's producers observed, "He doesn't wanna play with really good musicians because they'll bust him.

Because he's not an amazing musician -- he's just an amazing force. So, it's always safe with guys that are less than you -- you just tell 'em what to do and you know they'll do it."

A Crisis Brings Us Together

President Obama kept saying that Americans help eachother during hard times. Well, judging from this headline, these guys must be voting for Romney.

        Widespread looting reported in Atlantic City

Despite a strict 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. curfew in Atlantic City since Tuesday, the resort has suffered what city police, residents, business owners and elected officials describe as widespread looting.

“We’ve had a lot of looting all over,” Sixth Ward Councilman Tim Mancuso said.

In Atlantic City, looters broke into Second Baptist Church at HWERE.

After spending Tuesday cleaning up the first floor flooded by the storm, the Rev. Collins A. Days returned Wednesday to discover broken windows, overturned furniture and boxes, and computers, printers, microphones, amps and speakers missing from the complex’s offices and classrooms.

 

An Extreme Personality Type

From: The Toronto Star, Richard Ouzounian

Frank Sinatra was going to play Billy Bigelow.

Jones still retells this story with wonderment. “We had done all the pre-production, the rehearsals, the pre-recording.

We were in Boothbay Harbor, Maine, on the set for the first day and Frank arrived.

He saw that we had two cameras set up, one for CinemaScope and one for the new special CinemaScope 55.

“Sinatra scowled, ‘Does this mean I have to shoot each scene twice?’ and when he was told yes, he growled ‘I signed to do one movie, not two.’

Then he got back in the car and went back to the airport.

Holy Silence

From: Elizabeth Bernstein, Wall Street Journal

"I am a hawk. She is a dove," says Col. Taylor, 73, who lives with his wife at the Air Force Village West retirement community in Riverside, Calif.

Early on, Col. Taylor says, he learned to employ an old military strategy to deal with the couple's political differences: radio silence.

"If we are sitting on a couch and talking and there is a topic that causes her to move away from me and away from intimacy, this old Air Force Colonel isn't stupid," he says. "I avoid it like the plague."

 

The Disrespect of the Disrespected

From: Newsweek (edited)

I don't have a shred of sympathy for Maria Shriver.

During Schwarzenegger's first run for governor some women stepped up and accused him of sexual harassment; Maria provided cover for him.

She knew the truth, Arnold had a huge reputation as a hound dog in Hollywood. Everyone knew.

Maria threw those women under the bus because she wanted to be in the Governors mansion. She's as sick as he is.

File under: The Recruiting Animal's Lessons from real life.

The Worldview of a Cop

From Quora: What have you learned as a police officer about life and society that most people don't know?

Tim Dees, Retired cop (edited)

1. Some people have no regard for the welfare of anyone but themselves and lash out at anyone who tries to make them aware they are not the only people on the planet.

I didn't think of myself as having been sheltered from evil as a child but I was not prepared for the complete lack of civility.

2. Everyone has a hot button. And rational people can become maniacs.

There is some topic that will set you off, especially if it's referenced to you personally.

It might be your height, weight, sexuality, education, how much money you have, your mom, whatever.

Although they may not know it, there are people who find these hot buttons instinctively, and they live to push them.

3. Never underestimate what people will do for sex, money, and/or power. That applies to everyone, from the basest criminal to the most saint-like person you know.

4. People can be sexually aroused by very weird things.

5. Most of the stress in law enforcement comes from the in-house power games.

The stuff on the street can be stressful but you learn to deal with that quickly or you get out.

6. About half of the people who become law enforcement officers leave before they have five years on the job.

Some get fired for unsuitability, incompetence, or misconduct, but others find out it's just not for them.

7. High-speed chases look like fun because they are.

8. People are uncomfortable with police. Few of your non-cop friends will treat you the way they did before you became a cop. You will be introduced by your profession for the rest of your life.

9. Many criminals can be reformed and eventually come to a point in their lives at which a criminal lifestyle is more trouble than it's worth. Those who don't are mostly predators and should be locked up permanently.

10. Never say, "Now I've seen it all." There will always be innovators.

11. Take away alcohol and stupid and the world would require about 90% fewer cops.

Tim's book, "The Truth About Cops" is now available for Kindle on Amazon. Print version is forthcoming. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009B53HVO

You can read it on your computer by downloading free Kindle For PC software.

 

Woman Bites Dog

Disrespect for positional authority

From: Jeff Weintraub (edited)

Iranian cleric, Hojatoleslam Ali Beheshti, insulted one woman too many. And he seems to have pushed this one past her breaking point.

According to Beheshti's account, he encountered a woman with a bad hijab (head covering) and told her to cover herself up.

She responded that he could just close his eyes. When he wouldn't stop bothering her, she knocked him down, beat him up, and put him in the hospital.

Respect For Positional Authority

PLAY - Disrespect

The other day I was reading a discussion on Quora.

Someone asked this question: "What do foreigners find strange about the United States?"

And people were giving their answers and I noticed that some of the things they hated were the very things I liked best.

For instance, cold drinks all year round. What's wrong with that? I love cold drinks. They're halleluyah for me.

And the next thing was the lack of respect for elders and people in positions of power. And you know what? That's the greatest thing about North America for me, the lack of respect for positional power.

And it wasn't just Asians who complained about that. Some Europeans did too. And I was surprised because a huge part of the western tradition is about disrespect.

The bible is all about disrespect. A bunch of nobodies spit in the face of Pharoah, the king of Egypt, and they get away with it.

And when the Israelites want a king the bible makes it clear that kings are no good. And then the prophets keep telling the kings that they are no darn good.

And we get the same thing from the Greeks. Who is the most famous of the ancient Greeks? Socrates. And what did he do?

He was a poor man who challenged conventional ideas. And he refused to recant when the big shots went after him and they killed him for it. And he is one of the greatest heroes in history.

And science is all about testing common ideas to see if they are true. We don't take something to be the truth just because some big shot said it.

Einstein's a big shot in our culture and people are always trying to see if what he said is really true.

But you know, just last week, on Facebook, David Wolpe criticized me for calling someone by his first name instead of his title.

I was shocked. This is a guy who just spoke at the Democratic Convention. He's a rabbi and one night he gave the benediction.

But I'll tell you something. He doesnt understand America as well as I do. And he doesn't understand the bible as well as I do!

Because neither of those things is about respect for positional authority.

William Penn, he knew something about the bible. You can tell because he refused to take his hat off for the king. And where did he end up? In Pennsylvania!